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Jul 24, 2026
The bridal room
Tress reflects on love, gratitude, and the quiet moments before her daughter's wedding ceremony.
Considering the torrent of activity the week leading up to my daughter’s wedding, the tranquil bridal room felt more like a float down a stream. We had several hours before the ceremony began. Soft music was playing in the background. I found a cozy spot in the corner with my mother, one of three of Annaliese’s grandmas who had come to the wedding. We relaxed and enjoyed the panorama before us. Taliah, the Maid of Honour, was cooing over 4 month-old Angelina, whose precious frilly dress and dainty pearled shoes were sure to rival the Bride’s, still hanging on the back of the door. Meanwhile, the infant’s mother was pinning a corsage onto my stepmother’s blouse.
Someone handed me a plate of fruit from the beautifully arranged refreshment table. I thanked them, not knowing if I would be able to eat it, not only from that underlying flood of motherly emotions, but also because I was still recovering from breakfast. That morning, two dear friends delivered to our home an enormous smorgasbord of homemade bagels, fruit and yogurt parfaits, and mini-quiches. I have been blessed by such love and service in the past, but there are moments where such forces are concentrated, where waves become a tsunami, and here in the bridal room was one of those times.
How did I get here? Who could have foreseen this very scene a year ago? As parents, you have hopes and dreams for your children, and for her father and I, marriage has always been a part of that. We see marriage not as an ending of independence or of stifled opportunity or of fewer choices, although it is true that inherent in any flourishing and stable relationship are aspects of restraint and self-denial. Marriage, I have come to know and experience, should lead to an extension of one’s purpose, if we will allow it and seek it; we become so much more than the sum of our parts. We become conduits of grace for one another and for others around us. I had passed through a complexity of emotions up until this day, but now it was a deep gratitude that overshadowed all other feelings, gratitude for all of the promises inherent in this union. Even though none of us know the specifics of our future, I believe that life’s inevitable challenges are bearable if we share our burdens with one another.
After several trials with her hair, and a few nervous tears that her tresses were not going to cooperate on this day above all days, we all agreed that Annaliese’s coiffure was just as it was meant to be…two simple braids dotted with rows of tiny white flowers. Over the course of those few precious hours, several dear friends popped in to express their love, the photographer came and went to take a few candid shots, and there was a great deal of laughter as well as joyous tears.
Annaliese stepped out from behind the changing nook, and a collective sigh of admiration rang out amongst us. Created by a dear friend, her elegant A-line gown overlaid with a delicate floral lace was perfect. I decided to let those momma tears run freely now in the hopes that I’d be dried out in time for the actual ceremony. (FYI, that strategy failed.) A charming, and as it turned out, challenging feature of the dress was the cascade of 50 tiny pearl buttons that ran down the back. I was glad for the backup of mothers when, after painstakingly buttoning the first 10 or so, (My eyesight isn’t what it used to be and my fingers seemed to have grown fat and useless overnight.), someone realised that I had skipped one near the very top! Laughing at my carelessness and thankful that we still had plenty of time, I gladly handed over the job to the other mothers and close friends, who each took their turn.
As the time for the ceremony drew closer, the friends and family left the bridal room. I heard a knock, and opened the door to my husband, coming to see his daughter. “You have never looked so beautiful, sweetheart.” More tears, mingled with even more joy, as we exited the bridal room together.
Annaliese's wedding described here took place in Wisconsin. Here at Mohaka River Farm meanwhile, our newly refurbished 2-bedroom cottage has been designed and built with weddings in mind. It serves as our own bridal room for the lovely bride and her besties, while our A-frames - a few hundred metres away (which are more basic but have fabulous views of the Mohaka River and are great fun to stay in!) are where the groom and groomsmen stay. Photos and more info are available on our Weddings page!
